Every day in Crossfit is an exercise in physical discipline. But more than that, it's an exercise in mental discipline; of how much you are willing to turn your heart, mind and body over to pain. The focus and concentration it takes to put your body on the line is much, much harder than the physical focus. It takes toughness to walk through the door knowing you're gonna get hit with a sledgehammer and to cowboy up and take it, balls to the wall.
It wasn't there for me today. Minutes into the wod, I feel like I gave up on myself and I went through the motions. I don't know why...stress at home? sick kids? pissy attitude? Don't know. But I walked out disappointed. No one knows from looking from the outside how much of myself I'm putting on the line. But I knew. And it wasn't enough. It wasn't everything. I did the wod, I did not focus my mind. I may have achieved some calorie burning and muscle development, but I did not strengthen my mind and spirit.
So I will meditate on this and figure out what the hell went wrong. I would rather perform like shit with a fully focused spirit than perform decently with a heart that has given up.